It's official... I'm a bad influence

 

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

• shit (4x)
• hell (3x)
• pain (2x)
• screwing (1x)

Apparently the blogosphere is more corrupting than TV or movies, because it takes a helluva lot more swearing to get a R rating from the MPAA.

*Original link from the Queen of Piquant herself.

Ahhhhhh, Therapy

ANNOUNCER: Oh, how long can trusty Cadet Stimpy hold out? How can he possibly resist the diabolical urge to push the button that could erase his very existence? Will his tortured mind give in to its uncontrollable desires?

(Announcer grabs Stimpy, forces him closer to the button.) Can he resist the temptation to push the button that, even now, beckons him even closer? Will he succumb to the maddening urge to eradicate history? At the MERE...PUSH...of a SINGLE...BUTTON! The beeyootiful SHINY button! The jolly CANDY-LIKE button! Will he hold out, folks? CAN he hold out?

Just push the damn button!

Thanks C&F, I needed that one.

The Longest Day

Sorry for the lack of posts, but we've been spending the last few weeks helping Denita's mom get ready for her surgery.

Just before we found out that Denita was pregnant, her mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor. One brain tumor became four over the next few years... On behind her right eye, one in her right frontal lobe, one in her brain stem and one just above her right ear. March 30th was the scheduled day for her surgery.

Two weeks before her surgery, I took her to San Antonio for her per-surgery lab work. The lab work came back with her potassium levels flat-lined and the chest x-rays showed something very unusual with her heart. This Monday she went back to have more tests to see if her heart could handle the surgery. Thankfully, they were able to stabilize her potassium levels and the anomalies with her heart were able to handle all of the stress tests she was put through.

Thursday and Friday were the longest days we have ever had to deal with. We spent Thursday in San Antonio with the family and were waiting on pins and needles today at home, awaiting news. Denita's mom checked into the Methodist Hospital in San Antonio a little after 10am this morning and went into surgery at 1:30pm this afternoon.

Thankfully, we got the word that Denita's mom was out of surgery at 4:30pm and the doctor was very impressed with her vitals and responses during the surgery.

They were just going after the tumors behind her eye and in her frontal lobe (these were the most troublesome ones to her). When the doctor started looking around the eye, he could not find anything. After searching for quite some time, he concluded that the MRI scans were false for the one behind her eye (probably normal brain matter pushed into an odd position due to the pressure from the tumor in the frontal lobe). The frontal lobe tumor was removed without complications, and the biopsy showed it as benign. The doctors did not want to go after the other tumors at this time due to the sheer amount of skull they would have to remove to get to all of them at one go. The frontal lobe tumor was the one that was causing most of the problems for Denita's mom.

Denita got an update from her father around 8pm this evening that her mom woke up and was able to recognize Denita's father's voice and the voice of a friend of ours who works in the hospital (she still has her eye wrapped up and cannot see anything right now). As we were checking out of Wal-Mart at around 8:30pm, Denita's cell phone rang. When she answered it, she almost collapsed to the floor.

It was her mom!

She had about a five minute conversation with Denita and Zane, before the pain medication made it necessary for her to go back to sleep again.

We are all giddy with relief right now. While we know that Denita's mom is not out of the woods yet, we do know that the most dangerous part is over.

Denita's mom is expected to stay in the hospital for 5-7 days recovering, and I'll keep everyone updated as to how things are going.

F' You George!

Check this one out, before Darth George tries to "Fox*" it...
*second definition

Thought I'd post a humorous one before the next serious one.

A warning for the technically challenged

As a techie-geek, I spend a decent amount of free time helping others with their computer woes. In fact, I am the first person my supervisor calls (not the corporate IT guys) when something goes wrong with a computer on the floor. I am also the IT guy for several of my friends' computers, handling software and hardware upgrades and general computing advice.

I feel it is my moral obligation to post this story for everyone out there to read. Please, if you are not overly knowledgable about computers, do NOT waste your money going to these guys. Ask your local geek at work, or drop me a line here at whotendsthefires AT gmail DOT com, and I'll try to help. Don't let you get screwed like this poor computer user was.

Thanks to Blues News for the original link.

The Post I Don't Want to Make: Update 1

Here are pictures of two of the cats. Jadis has decided to find some inaccessible place to take her afternoon nap.

From Cat Pictures

Underfoot, in all of her mellow glory.

From Cat Pictures

Elric, being his normal self (just imagine Kronk as a cat...)

Jadis looks a lot like her brother Elric. She is larger (food dish hog), has yellow eyes and has more of a medium length to her coat. I'll take pictures of her as soon as she decides to grace us with her presence.

For those of you who have been asking in the comments, Denita's currently on a regimen of Asmanex, Singulair and Albuterol. This combination seems to be doing wonders for her, but she is unable to pet the cats or have them in her lap (Elric is a demanding lap kitty) without setting off breathing difficulties.

Thanks to everyone for the great response so far, and more updates to follow.

UPDATE: Pictures have been fixed, and the Queen of the Cats made her appearance.

 

From Cat Pictures

Jadis is NOT a fan of the camera's flash.

Better pics to follow soon...

The Post I Don't Want to Make

I know I'm off on my New Year's Resolution of at least one post a week, but I haven't had to heart to make this post, but I have to.

Just before February, Denita had a VERY severe asthma attack. Her rescue inhaler type (over the counter) had been pulled (either for re-formulation or for retirement.. reports are conflicting at this point) and we did not find out about this until she had ran out. When I called her from work to see how she was holding up, she gasped out that the EMTs had just pulled up to the house.

Thankfully, the quick response time from the local Emergency Response Team kept Denita from getting a deeper shade of blue than she was when they arrived. After two mega-doses of albuterol from the EMTs and another mega-dose at the hospital, her breathing was returned to normal. She has since gotten to a doctor and is taking a MUCH better combination of medicines to help her control, not just react to her asthma.

Here comes the hard part for us.

While the cats are not a true "trigger" for her asthma, for her health we need to find new homes for the furry ones. There are three of them all together.

Underfoot: a 2 1/2 year old spayed female tan and grayish colored shorthair. She is one of the most gentle cats you will ever run across. She gets along decently with other cats, once she adjusts to them.

Jadis: a 1 year old spayed female white colored medium-hair. She is the prima donna of the group and will dominate and set off fights with other cats (she really needs to go to a single cat home). She is also partially deaf. She is also a bit of a pig at the cat bowl. Once she warms up to someone, she is a rather affectionate cat.

Elric: a 1 year old neutered male white colored shorthair (Jadis' brother). Galoot is the best description of his personality. He is one of the most affectionate cats I have ever met, but not the brightest cat out there (but certainly not stupid). Also, like his sister Jadis, he is partially deaf.

All of them have been inside cats since we rescued them, and I don't think they would transition to being outdoor cats well (especially with Jadis and Elric being partially deaf).

I'm able to drive 100-150 mi from the Austin area to help with their relocation on my days off (with some advanced planning) if needed.

Right now I do not have any current pictures of them to post here, but I will fix that in the next day or two.

Those who are interested in adopting any of these guys, please drop an e-mail to us: whotendsthefires AT gmail DOT com

If we are not able to find new homes for them very soon, we will have no choice but to take Underfoot, Jadis and Elric to a shelter (a NO-Kill Shelter will be the only choice). We would much prefer that they went to a home of someone we know. Please help if you can.

Geekin' and Chillin'

Well, the last of the holiday gifts was finally gotten this weekend. The stars finally aligned and a little bit of geeky-goodness finally was restocked at the local Wal-Mart (restocked for all of 6 hours maybe).

When dropping Denita off at work on Wednesday, a small section of the electronics section was still sitting all lonely and empty, as it has been since November. After running around getting some needed supplies, Zane and I swung back through the toy section to say goodbye to Denita and while walking away noticed the shelf in electronics was no longer empty.

Six, small, elegant white boxes were sitting on the shelf, beckoning me like the sirens to Odysseus. Not being strapped to the mast of my shopping cart, I was pulled towards them, having just enough willpower to pull away to get an employee to open up the display case and grab one.

Cackling madly, I scrambled home... to play with my Wii!

None of the other Wiis lasted on the shelf longer than Denita's shift...

Fast forward a few hours...

Already, I am suffering from Wii-shoulder. The silly little Wii Sports games really will give you a bit of a workout. Even though you don't have to move the controller a lot, you will swing the bugger like you were Casey, trying to make up for your arrogance in Mudville. Watching your little Mii hopping around the bases after a home run (like the guys from VeggieTales), is so funny and satisfying.

On a proud (and also ashamed) note, I must announce that Zane, at the tender age of 4 years, beat his dear old dad at Wii Bowling today 153 to 147 (little bugger got 4 strikes in a row in his first frames). He has turned into the Wii Personal Trainer for the household, telling us what Wii Sports game we should play next.

This thing is all the fun (and then some) that they advertise. Even if you are barely even a casual gamer, you might just want to think about getting one of these little gems, if you can find one.

Quick request from our readers.

We are currently looking into ways to telling our local phone provider to go play in heavy traffic, but currently do not know anyone who is using a VOIP carrier (our only other option) instead of a standard telephone carrier.

Our local cable company does not yet offer VOIP service in our town, Skype is el cheapo, but sound quality seems to leave much to be desired when calling standard phones, so we must turn to you for advice on VOIP carriers.

If you have used/are currently using a VOIP carrier, please let us know what the quality of service is like (sound transmission, support, billing issues, etc.). Also, if you could let us know what upstream speed you have with your broadband service, that would help as well (we currently max at 128kb upstream and I would appreciate being able to compare sound quality by upstream speed).

Thanks.

I AM TWITCHING UP A STORM RIGHT NOW...

...in a good way.

Seems that the other week, our dispenser of the Elixir of Life™ (espresso maker) decided that it no longer needed any of the handles that originally came with it. So it was decided to retire the dispenser (since using an armless espresso maker is a pain) and get another one (*playing Taps*).

Seeing that Denita and I do not drink enough coffee to warrant just switching over to the standard coffee maker the previous owners of the house left for us (plus the strength we prefer would take too much coffee for a standard coffee maker), I started cruising the internet to find a replacement.

I finally settled on a "real" espresso maker (pump-driven, not steam), instead of just getting another Mr. Coffee one (Mr. Coffee worked well, but is a bit too flimsy).

Mr. FedEx was kind enough to deliver the new espresso maker today and I am now on my fourth cup and I am in java induced nirvana. This sucker makes some tasty Elixir of Life™.

Then on top of it, I fire up the ol' newsreader and find out that I've been linked by Neatorama for my E.S. Posthumus post. *WHOOT!* Seeing that Denita has been spending her posting time over at Neatorama (their newest contributor) instead of posting here, I though it was kinda cool to get something of mine linked to by the guy that runs the site.

Now, everyone start giving Denita a hard time for not posting here at her home blog!

 

BTW: Here's what I'm like on four cups of the almighty Elixir of Life™ :

And this is considered an Accomplishment?

While TTtSNB (where I work... The Thing that Should Not Be) treats most workers like mindless slaves, creatures only there to jump to the latest whim of management, apparently there is one group that thinks that it is a great place to work. TTtSNB was recently rated as one of the best workplaces by the HRC on behalf of GLBT.

Before anyone jumps all over me for being a horrible, evil bigot, anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I am one of the most non-bigoted people on this planet. I just am sick of all of the divisions people insist on creating. I could not give a flying shit about your religion, skin color, sexual preference, shoe size, underwear preference, etc. I boil everyone down to Human or Not-Human. You treat others decently, you get a thumbs up in my book.

Instead of working on creating a workplace where all employees think it's one of the best places to work, TTtSNB is apparently bending over backwards to make one group feel special, while treating others like the proverbial re-headed step-child. I wish I could smuggle in a video camera on my shift to have proof of how poorly those not within a "special group" are treated.

The Soundtrack Body Double

You probably haven't heard of these guys, but you probably have heard them. Their work has been featured as the soundtrack stand-in for several movies (ie., the music you hear on a lot of movie trailers that you WISH was actually in the movie).

Crank up your speakers, and head on over to E. S. Posthumus' site and bathe in the aural bliss that awaits you (they stream most of their work from the site).

Thanks to the ol' wife for finding this one (she's got a post hidden up her sleeve somewhere about how she found them).

Happy New Year!

Here's hoping this year proves to be a richer and more fulfilling year for all of you than 2006 was.

To start off this new year, I'd like to call for some reader participation with this post. Let's have a bit of fun by airing some dirty laundry between all of us.

The rules are simple:

In the comments let us know what one of your "guilty pleasures" happens to be (please keep this one relatively clean folks). For every 5 guilty pleasures added to the comments by readers, I'll add another one of my own.

Here's the starter:

I find Goth music to be insanely entertaining (not for the normal reasons though...) and actually have a decent sized Goth music collection.

This stuff is some of the funniest shit you'll ever listen to, if you remember to keep in mind that people actually take the lyrics seriously! The whole "life is but a torturous existence" theme that permeates Goth music will get me laughing on even my worst depressed days. Just try to get through reading these lyrics, without starting to laugh a little.

The truly scary thing is that a lot of Goth music is actually very impressive and technically difficulty to play, (then they add the lyrics, and I cannot stop laughing).

Help continue the mirth by adding your guilty pleasures in the comments (we will need the laughs soon...reason to follow shortly).

New Year's Resolutions

I know that New Year's Eve is still a little bit away, but considering that I'll be working, I figured that I'd post this now.

My New Year's Resolutions, in no particular order:

1. Actually post at least once a month week at the site. I know that all of you with only believe this one once you see it. These past few have been a bit hectic. Getting used to the new home schedule (Denita and I only have every other Saturday off together now). Also, the absolutely crappy dial up service out here was putting a crimp on even checking the weather forecast. But life is starting to settle down into an almost manageable routine for me and Denita's family got sick of the busy signals while we were online, and hooked us up with a broadband connection... so I should be able to post more frequently.
2. Get a headset with mic for the computer to take advantage of insanely cheap VoIP calls (seeing that everyone we know is long distance). For those who know my Real Life™ name, you can find me at first name.last name on Skype.
3. Post more humorous contributions to life from Zane... pictures, videos and stories.
4. Come up with a damn moniker for the new town we live in... This has actually been a very tough one for us. TinyVille just popped to mind for the town we used to live in, but we just haven't been able to come up with a fitting one for where we are now.
5. Plug more cool shit I find online... such as Pandora.
6. Perform only one wipe-and-reinstall on the computer. Honestly, this one is in Bill Gates' court.
7. Keep in better contact with my relatives. I've never been very good at keeping in touch with anyone outside of those I see on a regular basis, and I need to get off my lazy butt and remedy this. My family deserves MUCH better.
8. Get back into occasionally writing letters and sending them to people, instead of typing out a sterile e-mail. There is something more satisfying (in my opinion), in getting an old-fashioned, written letter in the mail.
9. Finally, get a slide rule, and learn how to use it... just for shits and grins.

A little Christms cheer for eveyone...

...for when you just cannot take another minute of Nat King Cole or Bing Crosby. And hearing "Santa Baby" makes you want to go into a homicidal rage...

*We are not responsible for any emotional damage this video may cause.

Settling In

Well, now that the move madness is over, we've managed to start being able to enjoy the new house... beyond the "holy shit, we bought a HOUSE!" reaction.

I don't even know if pictures will be able to convey even a small sense of the peace and calm out here, but now that I think I know where all of the camera stuff is hiding, we shall soon find out (just give me a bit more time here).

Most of the boxes have been sorted (what needs unpacking within the next month vs. what can just find a comfortable place in the closet). Less than a quarter of our bedroom still has boxes stacked up. With the current lack of shelving for books, movies, music and such, there will still be a bit of a box pile for a bit longer (but when the room is about 15'x30', it is not that big of a problem). We still have to do the washing machine switchout (swap our compact one for the full-sized beast the sellers left), but that is the last of the heavy stuff... inside.

As to the neighborhood, you could not ask for better neighbors. The gentleman across the granite dome from us has already offered the use of his riding mower to help with the yard (definitely will take him up on the offer in the future... the yard is an all-day project with a standard push-mower).

Zane has settled in nicely as well. He's learning the boundaries of the yard quickly, and have almost zero traffic on our street helps set our minds at ease when he's playing outside. We still have his swingset to assemble, but other than that, he has no complaints.

We'll, that's about all for right now. Stay tuned for the next episode:

Darth Vader visits the local Home Depot

The Deed is Done

Well, we finally got everything moved out to the new house (with the exception of a few cleaning supplies to clean up the old house tomorrow). Denita's mom has offered to help Denita out while I'm at work.

Now that the move madness is over, all I can say is... DAMN, I didn't know I had this many places that could ache at the same time.

We had several people lined up to help us move for the original closing date of September 19th, but everyone already had plans during the week following the new close date. It turned out the the bulk of the move was to be handled by Denita, her mom, her brother, her father and myself only. A kind friend from work would have helped out more, but ended up having a massive back spasm start up about a week before we closed, and he is still recovering (thanks for the plant move help Jeff, we appreciate it).

This last week has been hell, running back and forth between the two houses and work (about 130 miles of driving per day on top of a grueling 12 hour shift). It all was capped by a mad, 2 day U-Haul dash Friday and Saturday. I think all of us will have just one huge bruise covering our bodies for the next week or so (hell, even the tops of my toes ache like hell).

Now everything is here in the new house, to be unpacked at our leisure (thankfully all of the important stuff is already unpacked). Next weekend has been set aside to relax and get to know our neighborhood better. We have nineteen area parks to learn where they are located, and many new neighbors to meet. The neighbors we have had the chance to meet so far have been wonderfully friendly people, including a couple on a walk this morning (who had to be in their early sixties), who offered to help move the washer, dryer and freezer out of the U-Haul and into the house!

The peace and quiet out here cannot be matched. Already we have had several deer, skunks and grey foxes go through out yard, and coyotes can be heard calling in the distance. Zane is just beside himself with excitement.

As this next week progresses, I hope to have the digital camera unpacked so we can share more pictures with you.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

One o'clock in the afternoon.

Friday, October 6th.

WARNING: Geek Rant

Further proof that George Lucas is an ass and a liar.

From the original Theatrical Version of Star Wars:

Notice the lack of a reference to Episode IV or "A New Hope".

Seeing that I was weaned on Star Wars (the Star Wars madness started in '77 and I was born in '74), I have been thoroughly disgusted with the constant changes GL has made to the original story. It's one thing to clean up some technical issues and remaster the video and sound, it's another thing to completely rewrite parts of the story to fit a changed world view.

Thankfully GL is at least giving fans of the original versions (who don't have a laserdisc player) a digital version of the un-bastardized movies. Mind you, it's a somewhat low quality scan of the laserdisc versions, in Dolby Stereo (instead of the remastered Dolby Surround/Digital which was done for VHS before GL started screwing with things) and with widescreen display issues (with our widescreen monitor, you can see that it is formatted to a standard display and doesn't scale to a native widescreen display).

Until these versions were announced, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to introduce Zane to the true glory and cheese that was/is the Star Wars Trilogy (don't even get me started on the so-called Episodes I-III *spit*). Thankfully, with the purchase of Star Wars this week, I was able to share with my son something that had a lasting impression on me. He LOVED it! Then he promptly asked to watch the original Gojira movie (Godzilla to most of you).

Thankfully, my disgust with GL's tinkering kept me from forking out money for the first DVD set of the Star Wars Trilogy, so I did not end up paying double for what my geeky soul craved. Now it is time to budget for The Empire Strikes Back (best of the series in my opinion) and The Return of the Jedi (Ewoks must die!) before the evil GL takes them away from us forever in December.

Crunch Time

Well, Friday afternoon brought us a call from our realtor....

To find out what time of day would be best for us, to schedule a time this coming Friday with the title company!

It was too late in the day to call and confirm with the mortgage company that all hurdles had been officially cleared, but Denita will do that first thing Monday.

With that news, Saturday was spent packing some of the last miscellaneous things around the house. We are now at about 95% packed and it shouldn't take too long to get the last of everything thrown in boxes at the end.

The bad thing is that with closing on Friday (and me going back to work Saturday) we won't be able to stay in the new house until the following week.

---

 Now on to what most of you have probably been waiting for (well, those who have been following the house stories)... More information and more pictures!

If you follow this link, you shall be rewarded with more pictures of the future Chez TwoDragons.

*begin announcer voice*

Chez TwoDragons is a lovely little two storey home located on almost a football field sized lot (actually 5 lots total, for a grand total of 25,000 sq. ft.). It's unique retro design reflects the decade of the 80's, when it was built. It's generous size of 1856 square feet contains only two bedrooms, but what bedrooms they are.

The ground floor consists of the bedrooms (taking up approximately, two-thirds of the space), a full bathroom, laundry room and nicely sized closets. A small foyer (if you could even call it that) off of the front door leads to the stairwell.

Taking the stairs to the top, you will be greeted by a generous sized living room that takes up almost half of the second floor. The half-bath, kitchen and dining room take up the rest of the floor.

There is an almost constant breeze off of the lake, which the East-West positioning of the house takes full advantage. A quick opening of the living and dining room windows brings a fresh breeze through the house on demand.

As if all of the room (inside and out) wasn't enough, the neighborhood has over 13 parks scattered throughout, including one with lake access about a ten minute walk away. Two and a half miles away is a park with a playground, fishing piers, boat launch and swimming area.

Another great thing is that we only have three houses total on our street and at least a third of the entire neighborhood is not developed so everyone's houses are not squished together.