Oh, Let the Games Begin!

Apparently, with my recent change in faith-view, I have uncovered a great love for apologetics. I have been spending most of my available time over the past three months absorbing/devouring as much information about Christianity as possible, and the Holy Bible in particular.

This gift for absorbing information started as a desperate defense to save my family from being ripped apart. I will not go into the full details in this post (details will be forthcoming soon), but it involves a VERY heavy influence from the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society.

I was forced into a position where I had to become a non-Christian, Christian Apologist. I gave myself a headache just typing that sentence.

I went into deep bible studies with no interest in what was there for myself, it was just to counter the false teachings of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society that were threatening to destroy our family. In the end, while I had no desire to search for God, God and Jesus had chosen me, and I found myself filled with a faith that came not from me. This was the most powerful experience I have ever felt, and it is, as the Apostles stated:

 Acts 4:19-20  But Peter and John answered them, "Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard."

This is why I recently tracked down a copy of one of the most "dangerous" and useful books available when it comes to the project I mentioned in an earlier post.

Today, a book that the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society would love for people to just forget that they ever published, was delivered to my mailbox. Within this simple, 1165+ page purple book, the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society proves that their own translation of the Holy Scriptures is flawed purposefully mistranslated to further their goals. The book that they would love for the world to forget is The Kingdom Interlinear Translation of the Greek Scriptures. They put out two versions before they realized that there was no way they could re-edit it to the point that their changes to the Greek texts would not be exposed. The first edition was a 500,000 copy run, printed in 1969 (what was delivered today). The text was then revised in 1985 before it was finally pulled from circulation.

For those who do not know what an interlinear translation is, I will let the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society explain what this book is:

"By Way of Explanation" on page 5

In the broad left-hand column of the pages of the main material will be found the original kioné Greek text as revised (in 1881 C.E.) by the renowned Greek scholars B. F. Wescott and F. J. A. Hort, and in between the lines of the Greek will be found the word-for-word English translation. In the slim right-hand column of the page will be found the twentieth-century language translations entitled "New World Translation of the Christian Greek Scriptures," in its latest revision. The word-for-word interlinear translation and the New World Translation are arranged parallel on the page, so that comparisons can be made between the two readings and the accuracy of any modern translation can be determined.

The key phrase here is: so that comparisons can be made between the two readings and the accuracy of any modern translation can be determined.

When you actually compare the word-for-word translations below the Greek text and the NWT, glaring mistranslations/omissions can be seen. While the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society call Wescott and Hort, "renowned Greek scholars", they apparently believe that they are more studious when it comes to Greek, because in several places they felt that the accepted translations from these "renowned Greek scholars" needed to be changed.

Now, you may say that I have a strong bias against the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society and will just say what justifies my agenda. I will never claim that I am not biased against the "Society", but I will not state something that I cannot backup with concrete proof. Until I can get our scanner to work, here is a site that can give you a taste of "anomalies" between the original Greek text and the NWT.

--Listening to: Casting Crowns - Lifesong - Set Me Free

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Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001, 2007 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

The Kingdom Interlinear Translation of the Greek Scriptures quotes are from the First Edition Printing, copyright © 1969 by Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society. Used pursuant to the Copyright Act of 1976, 17 U.S.C. § 107

I Think I'm About to Vomit

Aren't there laws regarding "contributing to the delinquency of a minor"? Because this really should fall under that category.

More for the Padded Walls

What is Christianity?

Summed up in a very quick sentence, I'd say it is a relationship with God through the teachings of the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth.

Now then, where are the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth found... the Gospel, those series of books and letters that make up what we call the New Testament.

Now, if you are a pastor, claiming to be a Christian, what should you do?

I think the obvious answer is to actually talk about the Gospel, and not distort the message found within. 

Unfortunately, there are many pastors out there who claim to be Christian, but distort the message of the Gospel, or do not even talk about it. With their "feel good" message speaking what you "want to hear" versus "what you need to hear", they are slowly but surely eroding the pillars of the Gospel within people. This can be seen in many "mega-churches" these days in the USA and quite frankly, it is disgusting.

The Gospel is not all "flowers and sunshine". There are many passages that state that things will be difficult following the path of the Christ. 

The reality is this: truth causes strife. There will always be disagreements between people, and there is no way to please everyone all of the time. In the Christ's own words (from Luke 12:49-53): 

Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. For from now on in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three.  They will be divided, a father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.

Disagreements within Christianity are quite common, and can be quite healthy (the last thing we need in this world is a Thoecratic GodBot State running everything). But if you teach that the walk with the Christ is a path that should be without any hardships and struggles, you are setting up a lot of people to start hating God when they hit the wall of disappointment in life. Teaching that a "good life" is a right, due to the sacrifice of the Christ, will ultimately cast more people into darkness than bring them into the light of Jesus.

Let's let a man with a better way with words than I, touch on this subject:

My thanks go out to Mars Hill Church for posting their sermons online to share with others in this world.

Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001, 2007 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

I Really Need a Padded Wall

...because pounding my head against sheetrock is starting to hurt.

As someone new to/returning to the faith (I was raised in a Christian family, but cannot really say that I truly believed until just recently), it grieves my heart to see the diminishment of Scripture in many parts of the Church.

One of these is the current row among Protestants regarding homosexuality.

Before anyone jumps all over me, let me state that I have no right to condemn anyone, and that is not what I am going to do here. I am a sinner along with everyone else in this world.

Exodus 20:1-17 And God spoke all these words, saying,

2 "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

3 "You shall have no other gods before me.

4 "You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5 You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.

7 "You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.

8 "Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. 11 For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

12 "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.

13 "You shall not murder.

14 "You shall not commit adultery.

15 "You shall not steal.

16 "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

17 "You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's."

I, along with anyone who reads this post, have broken many of these commandments in the past. I am no better than anyone else, therefore I cannot condemn anyone, lest I ask for condemnation upon myself (Romans 2:3).

However, without condemning, I can, and should, offer words of correction to fellow Christians who are not following God's commands (Leviticus 19:17-18, 1 Corinthians 5:12-13).

To the split within the Church regarding homosexuality:

Leviticus 20:1 The LORD spoke to Moses, saying
Leviticus 20:13 If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.

According to Scripture, homosexuality is an abomination to God. However, with Leviticus 19:17-18 and Matthew 22:34-40 stating we cannot hate our brothers, but must love them, we cannot condemn them. But we are sinning if we do not confront them and point out what Scripture says in these regards.

If you allow an unrepentant adulterer, murderer, thief, idolater, etc. into a leadership position in the Church you are not following God's word (1 Timothy 3:8-13). Therefore, if you are following Scripture, an individual who is in an active, homosexual relationship, should be removed from any Church leadership position.

Anyone who unrepentantly disobeys the word of God must be removed from any position of influence in the Church. This is not my decree, but God's.

Matthew 18:15-17 If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Now, does Matthew 18:15-17 give us the right to just kick the homosexual sinner out of the Church, and wash our hands of them? I say no. It is our duty as Christians to still treat them with kindness and love and preach to them God's word, for is that not what the disciples did to Gentiles and tax collectors?

If you hear anyone profess to be a Christian, but also says they hate someone, know in your heart that person is not a Christian. Because of Sin, humanity cannot be trusted with hate. Hate for us can never be righteous, only evil due to the corrupting nature of Sin. If you feel that you must hate sinners, please do everyone a favor and take a LONG look in the mirror when you get up. There you will find the closest sinner to you to start hating.

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

If you find something that you do not like in the Bible, the fault is not with God, it is with you. It is due to something within yourself that you love more than you love the word of God. For if all Scripture is breathed out by God (2 Timothy 3:16-17), what was an abomination in the beginning, is still an abomination today.

Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001, 2007 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Going Through Changes

Recently, the TwoDragons' household was thrown into a huge upheaval. Worry not fair readers, only good came out of this domestic earthquake, and it has given Denita and I a new direction in life.

Unfortunately, I do not have the free time available today to go into details , but Denita and I are starting to embark into territories we never imagined. The things we have both gone through recently have put us in a unique position, and we are compelled to put what we have learned (and are still learning) to good use.

I'll give you a quick peek behind the curtains on one of my projects: A VERY critical exegesis of the NWT.

Too many people have been duped by this translation, due to the fact that very few people who read this version of the Bible have knowledgeable access to the original texts used for this translation. While I have run across many other websites showing the translation differences, I have not seen one that has a side by side comparison with the original texts used. Comparing the NWT to the Greek and Hebrew texts is very illuminating.

This is a project unlike anything I have ever undertaken (especially since I have almost ZERO knowledge of Greek or Hebrew currently, but I plan on changing this), but given the recent events around our home, it is something that I feel must be done. Thankfully I have the help of a wonderful program, BibleWorks 7, a terrific Biblical Greek site and a pastor knowledgeable in Greek to help me with this.

If anyone has any helpful pointers or advice, please let me know through comments, or through the site email address: whotendsthefires at gmail dot com

This is going to be a very long project, but I hope to have regular updates posted here.

We're not dead...

...just very busy reading.

And no I'm not talking about the latest Harry Potter madness.

Details will be forthcoming, please be patient. A site direction change might also follow the details, but this is not set in stone.

Zane has changed "Talk like a Pirate Day"

 
Well, seeing that he was born on "Talk like a Pirate Day", he thinks that he has the power to bestow "Arrrs" upon any day he chooses.

He decided last week that this entire weekend (my weekend that is, not normal people's calendar reckoning) is "Pirate Weekend"!

Denita was kind enough to make the flag and treasure chest before I got off of work, and have been "Arrr-ing" to our heart's content.

Happy Fourth of July to everyone!

It's official... I'm a bad influence

 

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

• shit (4x)
• hell (3x)
• pain (2x)
• screwing (1x)

Apparently the blogosphere is more corrupting than TV or movies, because it takes a helluva lot more swearing to get a R rating from the MPAA.

*Original link from the Queen of Piquant herself.

Ahhhhhh, Therapy

ANNOUNCER: Oh, how long can trusty Cadet Stimpy hold out? How can he possibly resist the diabolical urge to push the button that could erase his very existence? Will his tortured mind give in to its uncontrollable desires?

(Announcer grabs Stimpy, forces him closer to the button.) Can he resist the temptation to push the button that, even now, beckons him even closer? Will he succumb to the maddening urge to eradicate history? At the MERE...PUSH...of a SINGLE...BUTTON! The beeyootiful SHINY button! The jolly CANDY-LIKE button! Will he hold out, folks? CAN he hold out?

Just push the damn button!

Thanks C&F, I needed that one.

The Longest Day

Sorry for the lack of posts, but we've been spending the last few weeks helping Denita's mom get ready for her surgery.

Just before we found out that Denita was pregnant, her mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor. One brain tumor became four over the next few years... On behind her right eye, one in her right frontal lobe, one in her brain stem and one just above her right ear. March 30th was the scheduled day for her surgery.

Two weeks before her surgery, I took her to San Antonio for her per-surgery lab work. The lab work came back with her potassium levels flat-lined and the chest x-rays showed something very unusual with her heart. This Monday she went back to have more tests to see if her heart could handle the surgery. Thankfully, they were able to stabilize her potassium levels and the anomalies with her heart were able to handle all of the stress tests she was put through.

Thursday and Friday were the longest days we have ever had to deal with. We spent Thursday in San Antonio with the family and were waiting on pins and needles today at home, awaiting news. Denita's mom checked into the Methodist Hospital in San Antonio a little after 10am this morning and went into surgery at 1:30pm this afternoon.

Thankfully, we got the word that Denita's mom was out of surgery at 4:30pm and the doctor was very impressed with her vitals and responses during the surgery.

They were just going after the tumors behind her eye and in her frontal lobe (these were the most troublesome ones to her). When the doctor started looking around the eye, he could not find anything. After searching for quite some time, he concluded that the MRI scans were false for the one behind her eye (probably normal brain matter pushed into an odd position due to the pressure from the tumor in the frontal lobe). The frontal lobe tumor was removed without complications, and the biopsy showed it as benign. The doctors did not want to go after the other tumors at this time due to the sheer amount of skull they would have to remove to get to all of them at one go. The frontal lobe tumor was the one that was causing most of the problems for Denita's mom.

Denita got an update from her father around 8pm this evening that her mom woke up and was able to recognize Denita's father's voice and the voice of a friend of ours who works in the hospital (she still has her eye wrapped up and cannot see anything right now). As we were checking out of Wal-Mart at around 8:30pm, Denita's cell phone rang. When she answered it, she almost collapsed to the floor.

It was her mom!

She had about a five minute conversation with Denita and Zane, before the pain medication made it necessary for her to go back to sleep again.

We are all giddy with relief right now. While we know that Denita's mom is not out of the woods yet, we do know that the most dangerous part is over.

Denita's mom is expected to stay in the hospital for 5-7 days recovering, and I'll keep everyone updated as to how things are going.

F' You George!

Check this one out, before Darth George tries to "Fox*" it...
*second definition

Thought I'd post a humorous one before the next serious one.

A warning for the technically challenged

As a techie-geek, I spend a decent amount of free time helping others with their computer woes. In fact, I am the first person my supervisor calls (not the corporate IT guys) when something goes wrong with a computer on the floor. I am also the IT guy for several of my friends' computers, handling software and hardware upgrades and general computing advice.

I feel it is my moral obligation to post this story for everyone out there to read. Please, if you are not overly knowledgable about computers, do NOT waste your money going to these guys. Ask your local geek at work, or drop me a line here at whotendsthefires AT gmail DOT com, and I'll try to help. Don't let you get screwed like this poor computer user was.

Thanks to Blues News for the original link.

The Post I Don't Want to Make: Update 1

Here are pictures of two of the cats. Jadis has decided to find some inaccessible place to take her afternoon nap.

From Cat Pictures

Underfoot, in all of her mellow glory.

From Cat Pictures

Elric, being his normal self (just imagine Kronk as a cat...)

Jadis looks a lot like her brother Elric. She is larger (food dish hog), has yellow eyes and has more of a medium length to her coat. I'll take pictures of her as soon as she decides to grace us with her presence.

For those of you who have been asking in the comments, Denita's currently on a regimen of Asmanex, Singulair and Albuterol. This combination seems to be doing wonders for her, but she is unable to pet the cats or have them in her lap (Elric is a demanding lap kitty) without setting off breathing difficulties.

Thanks to everyone for the great response so far, and more updates to follow.

UPDATE: Pictures have been fixed, and the Queen of the Cats made her appearance.

 

From Cat Pictures

Jadis is NOT a fan of the camera's flash.

Better pics to follow soon...

The Post I Don't Want to Make

I know I'm off on my New Year's Resolution of at least one post a week, but I haven't had to heart to make this post, but I have to.

Just before February, Denita had a VERY severe asthma attack. Her rescue inhaler type (over the counter) had been pulled (either for re-formulation or for retirement.. reports are conflicting at this point) and we did not find out about this until she had ran out. When I called her from work to see how she was holding up, she gasped out that the EMTs had just pulled up to the house.

Thankfully, the quick response time from the local Emergency Response Team kept Denita from getting a deeper shade of blue than she was when they arrived. After two mega-doses of albuterol from the EMTs and another mega-dose at the hospital, her breathing was returned to normal. She has since gotten to a doctor and is taking a MUCH better combination of medicines to help her control, not just react to her asthma.

Here comes the hard part for us.

While the cats are not a true "trigger" for her asthma, for her health we need to find new homes for the furry ones. There are three of them all together.

Underfoot: a 2 1/2 year old spayed female tan and grayish colored shorthair. She is one of the most gentle cats you will ever run across. She gets along decently with other cats, once she adjusts to them.

Jadis: a 1 year old spayed female white colored medium-hair. She is the prima donna of the group and will dominate and set off fights with other cats (she really needs to go to a single cat home). She is also partially deaf. She is also a bit of a pig at the cat bowl. Once she warms up to someone, she is a rather affectionate cat.

Elric: a 1 year old neutered male white colored shorthair (Jadis' brother). Galoot is the best description of his personality. He is one of the most affectionate cats I have ever met, but not the brightest cat out there (but certainly not stupid). Also, like his sister Jadis, he is partially deaf.

All of them have been inside cats since we rescued them, and I don't think they would transition to being outdoor cats well (especially with Jadis and Elric being partially deaf).

I'm able to drive 100-150 mi from the Austin area to help with their relocation on my days off (with some advanced planning) if needed.

Right now I do not have any current pictures of them to post here, but I will fix that in the next day or two.

Those who are interested in adopting any of these guys, please drop an e-mail to us: whotendsthefires AT gmail DOT com

If we are not able to find new homes for them very soon, we will have no choice but to take Underfoot, Jadis and Elric to a shelter (a NO-Kill Shelter will be the only choice). We would much prefer that they went to a home of someone we know. Please help if you can.

Geekin' and Chillin'

Well, the last of the holiday gifts was finally gotten this weekend. The stars finally aligned and a little bit of geeky-goodness finally was restocked at the local Wal-Mart (restocked for all of 6 hours maybe).

When dropping Denita off at work on Wednesday, a small section of the electronics section was still sitting all lonely and empty, as it has been since November. After running around getting some needed supplies, Zane and I swung back through the toy section to say goodbye to Denita and while walking away noticed the shelf in electronics was no longer empty.

Six, small, elegant white boxes were sitting on the shelf, beckoning me like the sirens to Odysseus. Not being strapped to the mast of my shopping cart, I was pulled towards them, having just enough willpower to pull away to get an employee to open up the display case and grab one.

Cackling madly, I scrambled home... to play with my Wii!

None of the other Wiis lasted on the shelf longer than Denita's shift...

Fast forward a few hours...

Already, I am suffering from Wii-shoulder. The silly little Wii Sports games really will give you a bit of a workout. Even though you don't have to move the controller a lot, you will swing the bugger like you were Casey, trying to make up for your arrogance in Mudville. Watching your little Mii hopping around the bases after a home run (like the guys from VeggieTales), is so funny and satisfying.

On a proud (and also ashamed) note, I must announce that Zane, at the tender age of 4 years, beat his dear old dad at Wii Bowling today 153 to 147 (little bugger got 4 strikes in a row in his first frames). He has turned into the Wii Personal Trainer for the household, telling us what Wii Sports game we should play next.

This thing is all the fun (and then some) that they advertise. Even if you are barely even a casual gamer, you might just want to think about getting one of these little gems, if you can find one.

Quick request from our readers.

We are currently looking into ways to telling our local phone provider to go play in heavy traffic, but currently do not know anyone who is using a VOIP carrier (our only other option) instead of a standard telephone carrier.

Our local cable company does not yet offer VOIP service in our town, Skype is el cheapo, but sound quality seems to leave much to be desired when calling standard phones, so we must turn to you for advice on VOIP carriers.

If you have used/are currently using a VOIP carrier, please let us know what the quality of service is like (sound transmission, support, billing issues, etc.). Also, if you could let us know what upstream speed you have with your broadband service, that would help as well (we currently max at 128kb upstream and I would appreciate being able to compare sound quality by upstream speed).

Thanks.

I AM TWITCHING UP A STORM RIGHT NOW...

...in a good way.

Seems that the other week, our dispenser of the Elixir of Life™ (espresso maker) decided that it no longer needed any of the handles that originally came with it. So it was decided to retire the dispenser (since using an armless espresso maker is a pain) and get another one (*playing Taps*).

Seeing that Denita and I do not drink enough coffee to warrant just switching over to the standard coffee maker the previous owners of the house left for us (plus the strength we prefer would take too much coffee for a standard coffee maker), I started cruising the internet to find a replacement.

I finally settled on a "real" espresso maker (pump-driven, not steam), instead of just getting another Mr. Coffee one (Mr. Coffee worked well, but is a bit too flimsy).

Mr. FedEx was kind enough to deliver the new espresso maker today and I am now on my fourth cup and I am in java induced nirvana. This sucker makes some tasty Elixir of Life™.

Then on top of it, I fire up the ol' newsreader and find out that I've been linked by Neatorama for my E.S. Posthumus post. *WHOOT!* Seeing that Denita has been spending her posting time over at Neatorama (their newest contributor) instead of posting here, I though it was kinda cool to get something of mine linked to by the guy that runs the site.

Now, everyone start giving Denita a hard time for not posting here at her home blog!

 

BTW: Here's what I'm like on four cups of the almighty Elixir of Life™ :

And this is considered an Accomplishment?

While TTtSNB (where I work... The Thing that Should Not Be) treats most workers like mindless slaves, creatures only there to jump to the latest whim of management, apparently there is one group that thinks that it is a great place to work. TTtSNB was recently rated as one of the best workplaces by the HRC on behalf of GLBT.

Before anyone jumps all over me for being a horrible, evil bigot, anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I am one of the most non-bigoted people on this planet. I just am sick of all of the divisions people insist on creating. I could not give a flying shit about your religion, skin color, sexual preference, shoe size, underwear preference, etc. I boil everyone down to Human or Not-Human. You treat others decently, you get a thumbs up in my book.

Instead of working on creating a workplace where all employees think it's one of the best places to work, TTtSNB is apparently bending over backwards to make one group feel special, while treating others like the proverbial re-headed step-child. I wish I could smuggle in a video camera on my shift to have proof of how poorly those not within a "special group" are treated.

The Soundtrack Body Double

You probably haven't heard of these guys, but you probably have heard them. Their work has been featured as the soundtrack stand-in for several movies (ie., the music you hear on a lot of movie trailers that you WISH was actually in the movie).

Crank up your speakers, and head on over to E. S. Posthumus' site and bathe in the aural bliss that awaits you (they stream most of their work from the site).

Thanks to the ol' wife for finding this one (she's got a post hidden up her sleeve somewhere about how she found them).

Happy New Year!

Here's hoping this year proves to be a richer and more fulfilling year for all of you than 2006 was.

To start off this new year, I'd like to call for some reader participation with this post. Let's have a bit of fun by airing some dirty laundry between all of us.

The rules are simple:

In the comments let us know what one of your "guilty pleasures" happens to be (please keep this one relatively clean folks). For every 5 guilty pleasures added to the comments by readers, I'll add another one of my own.

Here's the starter:

I find Goth music to be insanely entertaining (not for the normal reasons though...) and actually have a decent sized Goth music collection.

This stuff is some of the funniest shit you'll ever listen to, if you remember to keep in mind that people actually take the lyrics seriously! The whole "life is but a torturous existence" theme that permeates Goth music will get me laughing on even my worst depressed days. Just try to get through reading these lyrics, without starting to laugh a little.

The truly scary thing is that a lot of Goth music is actually very impressive and technically difficulty to play, (then they add the lyrics, and I cannot stop laughing).

Help continue the mirth by adding your guilty pleasures in the comments (we will need the laughs soon...reason to follow shortly).